Discipline

discipline

Aw Shucks! Today is my last day on the (modified) Green Smoothie Cleanse. I have spent the last 10 days drinking 2 green smoothies a day (one for breakfast, one for lunch) and a salad for dinner. Snacking in between meals has consisted of fruits and veggies (celery, apples, carrots, cucumbers) and for my protein fix, hard boiled eggs and natural unsweetened peanut butter (on my celery). I have been drinking nothing but water all day, with the exception of a cup of detox tea in the mornings.

For 10 days, I have not had sweets, bread, pasta, rice, meat (I take that back—the last 2 days I added lean chicken to my dinner salads), dairy, fries, pizza…basically all the things I usually eat on a regular basis. Needless to say, this was DIFFICULT! Especially for me, the person who has something sweet to eat EVERYDAY! The person who thinks pizza should be added as a level on the food pyramid.

Although I can’t wait to sink my teeth into some pizza, this cleanse has made me become aware of the health choices that I make on a daily basis. It has made me aware of my daily temptations and cravings. It has made me focus on distinguishing between wants vs. needs. It has defined discipline for me. It has made me proud of myself. It has made me believe in myself.

I couldn’t have done it without the support of my honeybun (lol) and my sister, as well as prayer and positive self-talk.

Moving forward, I’m still gonna eat my pizza, but maybe not as much as I normally do. I know there are better choices out there, I just always made excuses as to why I wasn’t choosing those better choices. Instead of believing that I HAVE to have something sweet, I know that that’s a choice, and I don’t HAVE to have it; I can choose something else, and still feel just as fulfilled.

Cheers to a healthier life!

green smoothie cleanse

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Hurry Up and Wait

I spent the entire weekend auditioning. Literally, I went to at least 10 auditions in a matter of 2 days. As exhausting as it was, it was also great to be actively doing something to further my dreams. There were times when I tried to talk myself out of it; while waiting at least an hour to even get inside one of the audition rooms, I thought to myself, “Well, I’ve already been to x amount of auditions today. That should be enough; I really don’t need to go to this one. Besides, I’m tired and hungry.”  But then that thought was combatted by another, “But this is good practice. You might as well wait. This is an opportunity. Don’t waste it. You don’t have anything else to do anyway. You can wait.”

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Audition Day 1
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Audition Day 2

I watched as other actors and actresses crossed their names off the list and left, obviously tired of waiting themselves. But I stayed put, and I’m glad I did. I waited an hour and a half to be seen for maybe 10 minutes, and at this point, my mind is a blur of audition rooms and directors, so I’m not even sure how I did in the audition. But again, I’m glad I waited. This was an opportunity. Even if I don’t get any callbacks—which, of course, I hope that I DO, but if I don’t—I’m glad I took the time to practice my craft. I needed the practice of being in front of strangers, reading a side that I had never seen before and putting my whole self into it. Some of the auditions I know I tanked; others, I’m very hopeful about.

All in all, it was fun and (again) great practice, and I’m glad I stuck with it. Now, the callback waiting game…

#hurryupandwait

Nine to Five

“All these people on the planet working 9 to 5 just to stay alive…”

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Although I’ve been working the “traditional 9-5” for 7 years, I still haven’t gotten used to it. It just doesn’t seem natural to me. I’ve always had gigs outside of the 9-5 and the work required of those gigs sometimes spills into my 9-5, causing me to slip out occasionally for lunch meetings, coffee breaks, “personal errands”, etc.  Thankfully, no matter what 9-5 I’ve had, it’s been flexible enough for me to “slip out” for a few, but after a while I start to feel bad for somewhat neglecting the 9-5.

Recently, as I slipped out, waiting at a coffee shop for a quick non 9-5 meeting, I noticed how comfortable I felt. Although I kept checking my watch to make sure I wasn’t gone too long, I liked the freedom of sitting in a coffee shop at 10am instead of behind a desk in a cubicle. As I waited for my latte and breakfast crepe, I observed the hushed conversations of who I imagined to be stay-at-home moms or college students. I scanned the quirky décor hanging above entrepreneurs tapping and clicking away on their laptops and smart phones.  I relaxed in my chair as I thought, “I could get used to this.”

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind going into the office every now and then; sometimes it’s absolutely necessary. But I would rather have the freedom to choose and come and go as I please instead of being required to be there during a daily specified time period. It becomes so mundane after a while. And sometimes I just want to sleep in. Sometimes I just want to do nothing. Sometimes I want to slink in around noon in jeans and a t-shirt.

My frustration with the 9-5 should serve as an agent for change, pushing me to focus on building opportunities for myself to earn income outside of it, so that I can eventually quit and work for myself. I feel that I’m getting closer, but I just have to push harder and continue to remind myself of what I want and what it will take to get it.

I admit that I can be lazy sometimes and settle for the ease of collecting a regularly-expected paycheck, but if I really want to work for myself (and be successful at it), I’ve got to do more. Work harder. Challenge myself. Sacrifice. Plan. Execute. Network.

I’m not getting any younger, after all.